As you all know, I am a huge football fan, especially of the Cleveland Browns. Along with my insane, almost borderline obsessive love for the game a special ritual comes along with our football filled (sometimes disappointing) Sundays: Tailgating.
Ah yes, for about six solid weeks (I'm a fan, but I cannot stand for hours in below zero weather), most Clevelanders tone down our Saturday nights to wake up at an almost inhumane hour and prepare for the big game. Thousands of fans donning orange and brown flood the Cleveland Municipal Lot for a solid six hours of drinking, dancing (or thinking you can dance with a little help from what's in your cup) and rallying together with the hopes our team will rip victory from the jaws of our opponents.
As we wind down the tailgating season, a dear friend of mine suggested that I write a bit about my experiences this year, rules and some of the people that I have encountered.
Rules? Yes, you read that right. Every location has written regulations that the public must follow, but there are a few things about tailgating that I have come to discover over the past few years. For those of you who have been to one of our tailgates know that my group runs a pretty tight ship. It's fun yet organized because let's be honest, no one wants to show up for a hot dog with no ketchup or an awkwardly silent tailgate because someone forgot to make a game day playlist.
My list could go on and on, but I have probably lost half of your attention by now so I'll go ahead and list my top five things to consider if you want to tailgate like a boss:
1. Don't be "that" person. Yes, you. I am talking to you. Don't be that person that show's up for tailgating empty handed. I mean for goodness sake, you could probably go to the BP on E. 9th street, buy a .99 bag of Cheetos, eat half of the bag, show up with crumbs on your face and be judged less than if you show up with nothing in hand. Yes we put up with you dear friend, mainly because you're the social troll that sees everyone at a party and shows up uninvited. We may initially joke about it after tossing back a couple, but inside we are secretly hoping you drop your iPhone into the port-o-potty.
2. It is entirely possible to have a one too many. Now, I am all about having a good time but when you are gearing up for a long day, pace yourself. Stop and think about those around you and how your actions can affect them. Besides, I like being the center of attention and the more you drink, the less people notice me. Side note: you should always have a designated driver because from what I hear, DUI's are the worst.
3. Show some spirit! It's socially acceptable to drink at eight am on a Sunday if, and only if you're wearing some sort of sports attire. If not, I might mistake you for someone who may have a slight drinking problem or think you are a vagrant. By the way, no one thinks it's "awesome" that you show up screaming "Y.O.L.O." because you decided to stay out drinking all night and show up in the same clothes you wore to the bar. People will secretly judge you.
4. If you've never been tailgating, we can smell your inexperience. You park in my spot, you bring glass bottles, you don't shut down your grill in time. It will take a couple of stabs at it to find your niche, but when you do, you can too be the awesome person who uploads 99 pictures to instagram, facebook, tumblr, google+ ,twitter...documented how great of a time you had, then you can sleep for 12 solid hours when you get home.
5. Please have fun. You might not have a completely pristine, almost flawless tailgating like my friends and I do, but keep striving! There has to be something that drives you to greatness.
Here's to a win against the Bengals and taking the number one spot in the AFC North. Let's go Browns! Woof woof!
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